Bring YOU back into your life!

Bring YOU back into your life!

Do you ever feel like you are pretending?  Pretending to be in love with your job, that you have it all together, the perfect life… but part of it feels like you are tied down to a certain way you ‘have’ to live, or should act?   Yes, you are living up to society’s expectations, but somehow it doesn’t feel right or as satisfying as it is pumped up to be.  There is something missing, but you just can’t put a finger on exactly what.  As a result, you feel impatient with yourself because no matter what you try, somehow you just don’t fit in or feel complete.
Maybe you feel confused, guilty or uncomfortable when you think of really being honest with yourself and what you want…. So you just push it aside, and keep grinding.  But that niggling feeling wont’ disappear, because, as the saying goes –  nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know

Everything I described above is how I felt for so many years. Going from a glamorous job in the music industry flying around the world with celebrities, to following my interest in food and creating my own catering company to traveling to vineyards in pursuit of my passion for wine… none of these in isolation got me to that place where I felt fulfilled, that I had found my purpose here on earth.  There was a piece missing for me, and I felt frustrated that I couldn’t figure it out.  So many people envied my life and were in awe of what I was doing and had accomplished, and I found myself asking if I was being delusional, selfish and unrealistic for wanting more.  After all, I had all the elements in place of what would make up a happy and successful life, so why didn’t I feel like it?

It wasn’t until I dared become very honest with myself and go in search for ME that I discovered my true purpose.   Because I grew up in a very practical family and environment, as so many of us do, I was told that because I was a straight A student, naturally I had to become a doctor or a lawyer or businesswoman!  After all, these were sound professions proven to create a prosperous and successful career and life!  So like so many, I fell into the trap of silencing my intuition and inner voice, went to business school and did what a smart girl was supposed to do; get a ‘safe’ marketing degree and keep up my programmed persona and reputation.

Although I was a pianist and loved music since I was a little girl, I never owned the words “artist” or “creative”.  It was as if I somehow was ashamed to admit that art and less practical vocations was what made me feel alive, and where I felt the most at home.  When I considered going to the conservatory to become a classical pianist, people advised me that was an unrealistic profession; nobody ever made it.  All of these so called professional artists ended up having to resort to becoming teachers to make ends meet.  Now I wonder what these so called ‘experts’ had actually achieved in their own life, to make them qualified to blurt out opinions that potentially (and in my case did) lead to life changing decisions for someone else.

I have always been told I am a dreamer, different and daring –  and a bit of a nut job probably, by some.  But other people’s opinions still had such power of me, that I never gave myself permission to fully embrace these qualities. Yes, I now know to call them qualities because I see that that’s what they are, not adjectives other people who never went for their dreams, use to describe people who desire to.

Another thing I loved to do while younger, was to write. In my Norwegian class, I could really let my creativity out, where I wrote long, vivid fictional stories and let my imagination go wild.  My Norwegian teacher told my mother I should become a writer, but again – this was kind of laughed at and scoffed off as a far-off dream.  Becoming a successful pianist and writer I suppose was for other people, a very select few, of which I naturally wasn’t a part of.  I was to become a lawyer, and stop dreaming, after all!

No matter how much you try to be practical and shut out signs from the Universe, Universe is still looking out for you and will get back around to dealing with you.  After a few years in the wine industry after my rock n’ roll days and working hard as a chef feeding and entertaining others, I was led to become a health and life coach.  In my circles, I met other lightworkers who had the audacity to follow their hearts and dreams too!  I finally felt at home, after traversing two continents, four countries and four industries over a span of 20 years, in search of my purpose.

Surrounded by like minded people who encouraged and supported me, I got the courage to really get honest with myself, and to believe that I can do anything I put my mind to.  Now when I tell my friends and colleagues about my new plans and goals, I don’t get laughed at. I get told to get out there and think even bigger!  I’ve seen my dreams manifest slowly but surely in these last two years, where I have been fortunate enough to have a steady stream of life coaching clients who want to create their ideal life too.  There is nothing better than inspiring other women to go big and hear the excitement in their voices when someone is there to encourage and actually believe that they can do whatever they want to do.

Meanwhile, I keep growing and learning more about myself, and just this past month the Universe reminded me of my desire as a little girl, of becoming a writer.  Even though I’m in my 40s now, I am not telling myself I’m too old to start. No, I’m telling myself “Sunny, you are a writer. You are a creative. So get to work!”  In addition to writing a book, I’ve decided I would love to offer my services as a copy writer and am in the works of mapping out my offerings as I’m writing this!
I can’t explain the relief and happiness I feel having finally discovered who I truly am.  I also realize that it’s nobody else’s business what I choose to do, and it’s none of my business to care about what they think. I feel so grateful that I was stubborn enough to keep digging and listening to that nagging feeling when my intuition told me I needed to do more work to realize who I am supposed to be.  I want everyone to be able to experience this feeling, because it is everyone’s birth right!

notyourreality

So why is it that we feel bored, dissatisfied, frustrated, unfulfilled, unhappy and detached from our life, work, and relationships? It’s because we are not applying ourselves, utilizing our talents, interests and skills that we were meant to use – but rather try to fit into a mold that others have carved out for us, without knowing who we are and what we desire.

This is why you can’t seem to figure out why you can’t be happy with your job, even though it pays well, you have health insurance, a great apartment, a car, beautiful children, and can afford to go on vacations twice a year.  It isn’t enough!  Because your soul is crying out that you need to go for your dreams, but you are silencing your inner self by doing what is expected of you from societal standards.

Do you wonder, like I did –  “how did I end up here” and what is life all about? We get so wrapped up in taking care of other people, other people’s problems and lives and our day to day responsibilities that we lose complete touch with who we are as a woman, a person, an individual.

Have you stopped doing things just for the fun of it? “Because it makes you happy” is somehow not a good enough reason – you’ve got responsibilities, after all!  Meanwhile these responsibilities weigh you down and make your heart feel heavy.  You long for something that will make you feel accomplished, where you can use your skill set in a way that you will be of service to others and make you feel inspired on a daily basis.

I’m here to tell you that it is possible. Maybe it won’t be easy, but it’s doable. Several people before you have done it, and are doing it today. That should be motivation enough for you to know that you’ve got everything within you to succeed and do what your heart wants you to do.  It has nothing to do with practicality, being sensible or realistic.  If you choose to listen to your inner voice, it can change your life and help you find back to what you are truly on this earth to do.

yourpurposeistobeyou

Maybe you don’t know exactly how to get started, or how to find back to YOU. That’s where I come in. I specialize in helping women shine their light, the way they are supposed to. I also help them remember who they are and what they love to do.

Instead of trivializing what you are really interested in, giving into fear by saying you’re too old, don’t know enough, don’t have enough money, aren’t pretty or outgoing enough – I help you realize you are a star.  I help you get rid of your excuses you’ve come up with that have kept you playing small, although you know you are capable of SO much more.  You are unique and the world deserves to experience your brilliance. Don’t be content with average or “good enough”, go for ecstacy, complete happiness and the best!!

Believe in yourself enough to get started on your magical journey, no matter where you are in your life today.  There will never be a “right” time, nobody is coming to save you or figure things out for you, and there is never a clear path to anything – you must do the work.  There is tremendous power and relief in taking responsibility of your life, and I know that deep down you want to!

I would so love to hear from you if this interests you. Feel free to email me directly at sunny@sunnygandara.com or check out my website sunnygandara.com for more about me and to set up a quick chat!

 

thatwastheday

 

 

Advertisements

Why my life coaching is done with a splash of wine

Why my life coaching is done with a splash of wine

As I am finishing up my year long coaching and business certification program this month, I have done a lot of reflecting on where I am now, where I started and how much growth as happened within me because I decided to prioritize myself and choose me first, for once.  I have shared before that when the light bulb went off in my head, when I finally got tired of saying “maybe next time, ” “no, I can’t” (or shouldn’t, “one day” and “that would have been nice”, magic started happening around me.

First of all, there is enormous freedom in taking responsibility for your own life, because you realize that you and only you decide what happens to you, and that it’s nobody else’s fault if something goes wrong, neither is it their doing when you achieve something wonderful.   There can be a lot of anger, hurt, resentment and frustration when we give our power to other people and put them in “charge” of our own destiny. It is not your boss’ fault for not giving you a raise or for “making you stay those long hours, that’s your decision.  It is not your partner’s fault that you “have” to do the laundry or clean the house every week, you decide.  And it certainly isn’t the weather’s fault that you are overweight because it always seem to be too cold outside for you to go out and run.  Or Ben & Jerry’s for making that damn delicious ice cream that just happens to find itself into your freezer on a regular basis. You get my point.

Secondly, when you start prioritizing yourself and take your happiness seriously, you indirectly give others around you, who want and desire the same thing, “permission” to do that for themselves as well. So many of us live by these invisible rules and regulations in our mind about how we should, must or have to live, when in fact, we don’t even know who ‘they’ are that made them up.  Is what you are doing not making you happy or fulfilled? Then why are you doing it? Or are you, like I was for so many years, waiting for that ‘one day’ or maybe next year, when things will miraculously line up for you, all the things will be perfectly in place and you will be a whole new person, even if you’ve done nothing different to work towards that? Think about it.  Isn’t it time you started loving yourself, and loving life?  I have been able to inspire and support many women since I started my personal growth journey myself, and I can tell you – nothing else tops the feeling of being of value and feeling like I have a purpose – I’ve finally found what I was looking for all these years!

Thirdly, I am embracing being ‘multi passionate’ and that I have a gazillion certifications and interests in a wide variety of subjects, because I have a passion and thirst for life and I never want to stop learning.  So often in my life have I been shamed or met with dripping irony when I’ve started a new journey or moved into a different line of work, by people who just didn’t understand me, or maybe they felt uncomfortable because they couldn’t label me or put me in a particular box. “She’s a lawyer,’ “She’s an athlete”, etc.   Just picture when I was training for a body building competition, while drinking wine and cooking up waffles, pancakes and tacos in my catering company all at the same time! What to do with me!?!

So where am I going with all of this? When I left my position as a wine buyer last year to study life coaching, I knew I would always have a love for wine, because I truly enjoy it, not just the taste of it but the mystery, learning and challenges that come with exploring the wine world.  Just because I have decided to help women find their passion and purpose too, would that then mean I would have put my love for, experience, skills and years of education for wine behind me?
Most certainly not. Because now I play by a set of new rules. They are called MY rules.  In my world, anyone can do anything, anywhere and at anytime as long as it makes them come alive, as long as it makes them happy and is not hurting anybody else.  I’m sorry if you can’t fit me into a certain category or understand what I’m doing, but I’m actually having fun, I’m loving life and I would love to show as many people as I can, that it’s possible for them too.  By modeling that you can create your own life the very way you ideally would like to see it, more people will find the confidence to create something beautiful for themselves as well that represent what they are truly about and what they love to do. And as a result, the world will have more brilliant, varied, inspired and happy members, don’t you think?

As for me, I think life coaching and wine has a lot in common, so my decision is that my kind of coaching will have a splash of wine in it – and some great plant based gourmet food too.  The great Robert Mondavi put it best:

winesoulandbody

By that I mean that the food and wine will be a vehicle and symbol of enjoyment as a reminder that we need to do things in our lives for the pure joy of it.  I am a big fan of inserting more PLAY into our lives, and not be so serious all the time. When I speak about conscious living in my life coaching, I mean we also consciously have to select fun and play as well, because it is in these moments we truly tap into our creativity, and get to experience what magic this thing called life is really about.

So if you are looking for your core genius, desperate for more fun in life but think you have to trade joy and happiness for financial security and know that you are not quite living up to your full potential and tired of thinking that must be for everyone else, just not you…. Let’s connect via Skype for an hour, have a glass of wine and chat!  I would love to hear about your hopes and dreams and learn more about you….

You can schedule a time that’s convenience for you right HERE

In the mean time, if I can support you in any way at all, connect with me in my FB group, Books and Barolo Plant-Empowered Bon Vivant, on my FB page Sunny Gandara or comment here! Wishing you a purposeful, fun-filled and productive week! ❤

sunnyredjacketstanding4

A bit of my story and announcing my new coaching services!

A bit of my story and announcing my new coaching services!

For those of you who know me well,  know I have dabbled in a LOT of different industries and have a ton of varied interests, traveled the world, lived in four different countries and have always been on the “search” for my ideal life where I could feel like myself and ultimately, just be happy. This might seem like a simple (or foreign) concept to many, but I truly believe everyone is searching for happiness, whether they want to get a promotion, lose weight, travel or make a million dollars. Why exactly do you want what you want?  Probably to feel happy, right?  Let me back track…

I am, as many other entrepreneurial women out there, multi-passionate and have a thirst for life and have never settled for average.  I grew up in a small town in Norway, with fairly conservative parents who taught me that hard work pays off (and was necessary in order to make money), money was to be respected and didn’t come easy, and that I should focus on getting an education so I could get a good, steady job. I don’t think my parents were different from most and my education was very traditional in that respect.  They were simply trying to make sure I would be “safe” and ok in the world.  I was taught not to really make a big fuss about myself, be modest and respectful, and was constantly asked “what will they say or think” if I wanted to do something out of the ordinary.

crazy

I am still not sure of who ‘they’ were, but felt somewhat imprisoned by these strange creatures out there who just sat there all day long judging me, telling me what I could or shouldn’t do. Other people’s opinions and expectations of me became somehow very central to my thought process, and every decision I made started with asking myself “What will they think”…

They” supposedly expected me to either become a doctor or a lawyer since I was an A student, to marry a tall, handsome man and have 2.5 children, buy a beautiful home in a nice town with impressive furniture, a cabin in the mountains (where we would go every weekend) and preferably a boat on the fjord, feel ok with the fact that fun would be over when you are married and that now my day would look something like going to work from 9-5, make dinner, read the paper and watch the news and be in bed by 10. And do it all over again until Friday, when we could finally have some “fun”, go for a hike in the mountains and maybe even have a glass of wine or two on Saturday night!  Sigh…

careaboutpeople

Even so, I decided to do something as untraditional as move to the United States to go to college  (San Francisco, to be exact) and spend all my money on my education, despite university being practically free in Norway in comparison. This was because I had become aware that the world was big and I wanted to explore it. Nobody really understood what I was doing, but half way expected me to return to Norway when I completed my education.  I must have disappointed them, because after having spent my junior year in Paris and completing my senior year in San Francisco, I decided to move to New York to try my luck there in the working world, and 20+ years later, well the rest is history. I’m still in NY.

frihetsgudinnen

In New York, I landed in the exciting music industry where I worked for a decade as an international marketing director and traveled all over the world with celebrities, stayed in five star hotels, dined in top restaurants and basically lived la vida loca.  When that journey ended, I felt I was done with the jet set life, and decided to pursue my interests in food and wine. I went from making 6 figures to making $10/hr as a cook in a restaurant, which was quite humbling. I told myself it was worth it, because following my dreams and trying to find my true purpose was more important than anything, and that I could always be making that money again. After all, I had proven it to myself.

After just a few months working as a cook and being a cocktail waitress in a restaurant in pursuit of my dreams,  I decided started my own catering company, Fork and Glass with my husband.   Oh yes- that reminds me: Ever since the age of 18, people back home constantly asked me the same 3 questions: “Aren’t you moving back home to Norway soon”?  “When are you getting married”? and “Don’t you want kids”?  I felt like an alien sometimes, because no, I didn’t want kids (unless you count four legged ones) and I was in no hurry to get married – but when I did, I made sure it was to a man that was Mexican and shorter than me, just for shock effect (not! lol).  And after 20+ years in the U.S. the question “Do you like it there?” seemed kind of redundant and ridiculous.  Yes, I sure do, and no, I’m not moving back to Norway.

Maybe it was the rebel in me, but in between all of this I decided to slim down, double my muscles and compete in bodybuilding shows. Instead of getting pregnant, being in a desk job tolerating life, and giving into the story that my body had seen better days since I was now approaching 40 and that’s just how life is, I strutted my stuff in a shimmering bikini and high heels covered in an orange tan. It felt amazing and I was empowered by the fact that if I wanted to look good the only thing I had to do was make a decision to set a goal and put in the work. Much like anything else in life, you just have to make the decision.  The rest can be figured out.

sunnystage

While I ran my company and worked my ass off catering (this line of work is not for sissies and I quickly learned doing manual work for 14, sometimes 16 hours a day was not my calling), I was getting my wine education and worked for a small Norwegian luxury vodka brand which was quite fun. Because I was positive, outgoing and interested in networking and learning about new things,  life always seemed to be giving me these amazing opportunities which I accepted and learned from.   I was most definitely grateful for these chances given to me, but I still hadn’t found what truly lit me up, what would give me the feeling of “ah! THIS is why I’m here in this world”.

So I continued searching. I tried working for a wine importer as a sales consultant, and then moved into retail as a wine buyer for a large wine where I stayed for over 2 years, before I came across the world of coaching through my continuous search for “me”.

BINGO!! All of a sudden the lights came on and a whole new fire was lit up under me. I quickly realized that I had been coaching my whole life; I was the person all my friends would come to if they needed to talk something through or had a problem or issue, and I loved hearing about their lives and realized that we are all really challenged with the same things in life. And ultimately we all want the same thing: to be happy. 

I think the most important reason I have been able to see the big picture now, at age 43, of what I am supposed to be doing with my life; to help women find the courage and confidence to design their dream life DESPITE what background they have and programming they have had in life; is when I made the best decision in my life at age 40: To become a vegan.   Might as well stay on the track of being different, right??

I have always been an animal lover, but I didn’t always see the irony of claiming that title in one breath, while eating the ones I claimed to love in the next. I grew up with a dozen cats, chickens, ducks, horses, goats… you name it. But I also loved cheese, meat, eggs and fish.

It wasn’t until my late 30s when my friend started sending me videos of animal cruelty on factory farm, that I started researching and was horrified at what I found out. That this could be hidden from most people was unbelievable . Then what I found even more incredible is that people don’t really want to know, because they have a hard time letting go of the foods they have been so accustomed to.  This was me for many years too. Instead of watching the videos or reading the books, I just turned a blind eye and pretended it wasn’t happening.

Until one day when I realized; I’ve spent my whole life trying to find who I am, who I want to be and what I want to do – and ignoring the welfare of beings I supposedly I said I was so fond of, was not in alignment with being a kind, conscious and truth seeking individual.

So I did something ELSE untraditional: I went vegan overnight.  Which meant I had to say goodbye to any followers of my Norwegian food blog (I spent a lot of time building that community) who only followed me because of my writings about smoked salmon and brown cheese, I had to get my husband used to the fact that we wouldn’t be eating the same dishes anymore (but we found a happy compromise) and I had to get re-educated on the best way to build muscle on a plant based diet (it’s easy and much healthier, by the way). Instead of seeing problems, I started seeing solutions, which became my mantra for my new life.

fitinworld

So what does becoming vegan have to do with finding your purpose in life? Finding the courage to do what makes you happy and fulfilled, and being honest with yourself, of course.  When I turned vegan something happened inside of me – I felt so true to my nature, so clean, uplifted and positive that I know could make ANYTHING happen in my life. What I had seen as a potential huge obstacle, really wasn’t that hard at all, and so many new doors opened up for me that had been shut before.

lostfindyourself

This is what happens if you allow yourself to believe in yourself and your capabilities of doing what you truly want to do, despite what other people say.  How many times have I heard that “I have to be careful, because it can be unhealthy not eating animal foods”, that I’m not getting enough protein, B12,  calcium, iron, etc. Well guess what people: I have been a vibrant, healthy and alive individual for the past 3 years I have avoided animal foods – in fact, feeling better than ever before!  My point is: follow your truth, listen to your intuition – what your “gut feeling” tells you will never be wrong for you!

Don’t believe the hype.  Don’t believe it when people tell you a corporate job is “safe” because you get a steady bi-weekly paycheck, that feeling a bit ‘so so’ about your life is normal, that you have to stay in a relationship that isn’t really making you that happy anymore but is ‘comfortable enough’, that carrying around an extra 20-30 lbs on your frame or feeling aches and pains in your body is to be expected when you are getting older…

Why settle for ‘ok’ when you can have AMAZING??  You only have this one life and you SO deserve it!  The world needs YOU and your special talents, give yourself credit for the incredible and very special individual you are! If you don’t quite know what that is for you yet, that’s ok – do what I did, and keep looking! It is SO worth it in the end.

So where on earth would you even get started with this, you might ask? This is why I transitioning from vegan health coaching into life coaching for women just like you… who know that life has more to offer, or more specifically, YOU have more to offer. You have a desire to wake up in the morning and be excited about your day, not dread it. You want to make a difference, feel good, and you want to be able to make good money while having fun at the same time. I get it, believe me.

I am here to help you explore some options for you… Let me get to know you and learn more about your story and we can come up with some ideas together for how you can make yourself happier TODAY.  I can give you suggestions based on our talks, and a step-by- step action plan to get you to where you want to be.

Whether that for you is changing your diet to get more energy or lose weight, changing jobs or even starting your own business, or picking up an old interest or hobby of yours that will get you back in touch with who you truly are and what you love doing,  give yourself a gift and take a chance on yourself for once, today!!

When I finally got tired of saying “no, I can’t afford it”, or “maybe next year” or “I don’t have time,” while secretly feeling super sad inside, I made the best decision ever:  I realized that I only have today,  and I invested in a coach and took a massive step towards improving my life.

I can proudly say that this month I’ve made more than double my salary in my old job as a wine buyer, all while working from the comfort of my own home and spending time with my beautiful pup Scooby, and getting the privilege of coaching amazing women around the world, helping them find back to who they are and what they love to do.  Best job in the world!!

Schedule a free call with me here to see how I can helphttps://calendly.com/sunnyg/60-min-discovery-session

I would love to see you find your true happiness no matter what that looks like to you.  Talk soon!! 🙂

SunnyandScooby