Imagination or reality?

As the days grow closer, I am now imagining I look BIGGER, and not in a good way. I’m thinking I’ve gained some fat in certain areas that I shouldn’t have, and not sure how to tweak my diet. GRRR.. I hate being so confused, as I’m still learning to listen to my body and see what works best. Trial and error is great, but not right now! lol.  I am still eating between 2000-2500 calories per day, not really doing much cardio, because I am not very muscular compared to other contestants who have been in this game for years. The carbs I have added are very controlled, but like the rest of us, I’m easily freaked out by “too many” carbs, although I can see my muscles have enjoyed this extra nourishment.  I just hope it’s not at the expense of having gained fat. I can’t tell!

This past week marked my 10 month “anniversary” since I started weight lifting, so I’m still very much a novice at this. I am new at competing, new at eating this way and meticulously counting macro/micro nutrients, suppplements, etc. In short: new at everything and it’s a bit overwhelming!  Trying to just stay focused on having fun and not taking it so serious, but it’s in my nature to get serious and go full force about everything I’m doing in life – this is no different!

Leaving you with some pics I took this morning at the gym – after having downed a whole salad bowl full of oatmeal and pale as a sheet. I will start spray tanning tomorrow – should have some new photos after the weekend. My goal will be to post some photos every other day up until the day of the show so you can all chime in if you think I’m getting fatter or softer. Please!

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