Phew, finally feeling “normal” again after a few tumultuous days this week where my body was just MAD. Mad at me for dieting, for not eating carbs or just for BEING some days. Moody, asking myself why the hell I’m doing this, and going through the usual crappy thinking we all sometimes do.  I gave in one day and ate a protein bar. NOT FD approved!! Hence I was denied my usual weekly re-feed day because I wasn’t strict  enough on the other days, and I thought the world had gone under for  a second… My head was so “prepared” for a carb feast and now all I had to look forward to was more cabbage and cottage cheese… I confessed about my slip up and complained to my coach, who of course told me “re-feeds are not a right, they are a PRIVILEGE”. Well, I got told off, didn’t I! But it’s true, I’m so fortunate to be on the Fighter Diet, it’s a diet that allows for a lot of food, especially for someone who is as lean as me, while I build muscle AND lose fat. I have no right to complain! That being said, my calories have increased now from 2000 to 23oo for about 4 days – I am eating about 1 cup of oatmeal for breakfast (up from 1/2 cup), and have also added some additional fast carbs after my work outs in forms of extra rice cakes. Veins are popping like crazy and my body is happy and ready to grow it feels like!  I was at my lowest weight this morning again, 132.4 lbs, and I feel a lot more ‘solid’, not just lean, so hopefully that means I am adding muscle while maintaining a low body fat percentage. I haven’t gotten around to doing the bod pod or dexa scan body fat test yet (the most accurate tests on the market but costs about $200), that will be my goal once I return from California at the end of the month.  Yes, I’m off to work out with the great Pauline Nordin in one week from tomorrow, SO SO excited!! I am slowly starting to plan what to do around my work outs at Gold’s – I think I just want to hang out at the beach and read, go for bike rides along the ocean and see a couple of friends I have in the area. I must admit I look forward to this time by myself, life has been so crazy with work and other commitments and I haven’t had a vacation in almost 2 years so I am desperate to just breathe and think about nothing but getting in shape and focusing on my upcoming competition.

I am happy to report I feel rejuvenated again, ready to tackle any temptations and tough work outs ahead – life is so exciting and I am so fortunate to have the opportunities I do! Here I am yesterday outside my house, in all my pale glory! 🙂